Friday 28 October 2016

Dandelion

"Dandelions"

I remember saying Hi
curious and nervous if you'll reply
you sure did 
and said hey with a smile

exchanging replies
everything went so quick
"then its set"
"Okay, I'll see you next week"

Met you earlier than expected
25 mins I waited
chilly
but a day til now I don't regret

Looking for each other
finally there you were
In a gray tee with your big ass brolly
but yeah, you were late

couldn't hide my smile
I said "Hi" 
and oohh you smiled back
could you do it one more time?

The night came and you were still with me
still shy, but thats how some are first right?
Im sure it wasn't butterflies, dandelions I guess?
but what I felt then didn't matter much to me

Days and weeks passed, almost everyday
I enjoyed our small innocent talks
got to know your friends,
and met you more often than I should

I always anticipated to see you
when you ask me to wrap my arms to yours it was nice
and when you ask me to hold your hand were the best
I truly felt safe and genuinely happy with you

But somewhere in the middle
something happened and this wasn't on the plan
to me It didn't feel right or the same
slowly, I don't know how, the dandelions flew away

This time your smile seemed different to me
a smile that im scared of and always dreading to see
why do you ask?
I didn't know either, guess I was scared I'd fall in deeply

sure enough I did and told you how I felt
I thought then it was a bad idea
because you didn't felt the same
and that smile of yours, I blame

Looking back Im still glad it happened
walking into each others lives
I believe it was meant to be
you and I wasn't but knowing each other will always be

Dandelions flew but they were never gone
Im sure it wasn't love but infatuation
you remind me of them
soft, gentle and a good companion

But I guess its time to leave
with the same sweet smile that I first wore
but don't worry 
I'll leave the dandelions for you to treasure



Cris

Thursday 30 June 2016

A Thankful Letter



This is the last time ill be sending a message to you. A letter from my heart.. Hind ko na kailangang sabihin sayo at alam ng lahat kung gaano natin kamahal ang isa't isa. For a while you wanted me to give up my love for you pero ayoko dahil I was trying to be strong and I was holding on to that smallest love you said you had for me. I wanted to do everything for you to comeback and I did. I did everything I could and told you everything I needed to say kahit alam kong walang pagasa. Everyone knew how shattered and broken I was inside out but I was afraid and I couldnt accept everything you said and whats happening between us so I kept holding on and hurting myself even more.

Years ago I remember being hurt, asking and praying every single day to God to give me the last til I met you and believed.. I believed that it was you..
I don't, I can't and I won't hate you. You were my everything and you were my life. I still believe sa kasabihang "kung kayo, kayo" but now..

Ngayon, Im letting you go. I'm letting go of the 'paano', 'sana' and the remaining love I have for you.. Bibitawan na kita at kakalimutan kung kailangan.. I realized that I can't keep hurting myself and I shouldnt beg you or anyone else to stay in my life. I can't have someone who is happily going on with their lives knowing im hurt at sila ang dahilan. I deserve true love. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to be loved. Life goes on and I know I could do it without you.

Im very very very thankful sa lahat ng kaibigan na nakilala ko sayo.. true friends I must say(ofc friends parin kami).. You have a beautiful family and every single memory we had will be kept inside my heart. Thank you for loving me and making me truly happy.. I will remember you and ipinagmamalaki ko kung anong meron tayo noon but from now on.. Im letting you and my feelings go.

Dang

(I wanted to share this because all of us have gone through this or will in the future. Everybody hurts but not everyone survives.. its okay to be hurt and its okay to cry.. pero you have to be strong diba?)






I wish to look back on this in years time..
Moved on naba te?